The Eccentric In-Law

“I’ve got unapologetic joie de vivre!
And I’m broke!”

College: Carleton

Occupation: Life coach, painter, living-by-example

Favorite sport: Anything noncompetitive, so that both sides can win

Major in college: Environmental Science; minor in Art and Ethnomusicology

Favorite book: Random Acts of Kindness; has been known to send a “friendly fax” to a stranger to start a kindness revolution

Owns or rents?: Rents a room in a house owned by a lovely lesbian couple

Mistake you made that he would never make: Offending the leader of the African Dogon tribe by drinking from the nyama bowl

When not busy teaching the adult continuing education class “Birds, Habitats, and Songs,” your in-law is globe-trotting. He’s touched more remote corners of the world than Coca-Cola. But, when he’s not in Brunei, he’s the stateside family photographer. His zeal for documenting your in-law family’s “ancestral quest” is matched only by his love-hate relationship with biodegradable kitty litter.

Yeah, Right, He Wouldn’t Kill a Fly

Okay, so he wouldn’t outright kill a fly. But he’d kill it by driving it completely crazy. This in-law controls you and your partner by being totally erratic. He zigzags. He disappears for months at a time. And sometimes he wears you thin with his refusal to use deodorant. He’s the hardest opponent, because he doesn’t play by the rules. And his behavior makes you worry. You can’t help but feel that eventually you’ll be paying for his home, electricity, and health care. That is, unless he sells that novel he’s been working on.

How to Combat the Eccentric In-Law

He’s the greatest guy in the room. He’s the life of the party. Learn how to ride the wave and not get sucked under.

1. Avoid responsibility:
Do not co-sign loans. Do not add this in-law to your health insurance. Do not link yourself legally in any way. This in-law is a living liability. And, like a 185-pound anchor, he is programmed to sink. Don’t get tied down.

2. Cater to his strengths:
Rethink your relationship and enjoy what’s great about your in-law. Instead of cursing his new obsession, say, “I’m related to a Sedona architecture expert. How wonderful!” Seek out lectures, exhibits, or nature walks that highlight your in-law’s expertise.

3. Make a list and read it aloud:
When your in-law’s free-spirited self is downright self-destructive, list the twelve addresses he’s had in the past four years, the eight jobs he’s quit, and the four get-rich scams he’s donated to. It may rile him, but you and your sweetie deserve time out of the dream-catcher circle.

Copyright © 2007 Dina Koutas Poch. All rights reserved.